The Way We Feel
by greekrose
Summary: When the team is attacked in a very personal way, leaving one of them seriously injured, they must find the hidden threat before it strikes again.  Team fic but slightly Eric centric.
1. Disclaimer

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have I ever claimed to own the characters of the story within the following chapters.


	2. Hit

Nell came to amidst flame. The air was heavy with smoke and she could feel an unbearable heat throughout the room. Rubbing a throbbing bump on her head she sat up from the stone floor and tried to get her bearings. Ops around her was a mess, computer screens cracked and sparking, one of the walls nearly blown clean away. She pulled herself to her feet with a groan as instinct told her to evacuate the quickly deteriorating room as the flames spread, but something in her gut made her hesitate.

_Nell sat at her computer typing away, desperately trying to lock onto the missile the terrorist group had been able to deploy before Callen, Sam, Kensi, and Deeks had been able to stop them. It was an odd feeling scrambling to find some trace of the missile in hopes of saving its intended targets. It was not often that their four, seemingly unbeatable, field agents failed. A shrill scream from the computer to her left went off and pulled her out of the morose thoughts floating around her head. The program she had set up to lock on the missile had locked on and small black box had popped up on her screen giving her the missiles estimated target. Her heart jumped to her throat and she barely had time to lock gaze with Eric across the room before and explosion shook the room and her world went black._

The brief memory flashed through her mind and she knew in an instant what she had forgotten.

"ERIC!" Nell small voice carried through the room as she began to carefully make her way across the room to the place where she had last seem her fellow tec.

"Eric" she gasped his name as she spotted his foot from behind the large table in the center of the room. Rounding is she found the blond tec face first on the ground, rubble from the fallen wall covering him in some places, but the most frightening was the large beam that had fallen across the small of his back.

Scrambling to his head she tentatively reached out and laid a hand on the back of his head softly calling out to him.

"Eric, Eric" Nell called to him urgently as she felt the heat of the growing flames intensify, "I need you to wake up so we can get out of here."

Having gotten to the launch site too late and arriving only to find scorched ground and scraps of garbage tossed about Sam and Callen got back into their car closely followed by Kensi and Deeks and called ops.

Sam watched as Callen pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed ops. Expecting an instant response the two men exchanged worried looks as the phone continued to ring.

"That's not normal." Callen muttered as her dialed again

Sam had already accelerated heading in the direction of ops. When the phone rang again with no response they knew for sure that something was not right. Sam looking briefly in the rear view mirror could see Kensi and Deeks quickly approaching from behind and figured they had come to the same conclusion.

"Something is definitely not right." Sam ranted his hands tightening around the wheel turning his knuckles white, "Eric and Nell always answer."

"I know." Callen answered tightly.

Neither of the two agents said anything else for the ride as the sped through city traffic all the while Kensi and Deeks followed closely never more than a cars length away. It wasn't until they were a block away and spotted the smoke rising that the silence was broken by a stream of curses courtesy of Sam.

The building though holding in a few places looked incredibly unsteady, but that didn't stop the 4 agents from sprinting in the mercifully still open and clear front doors.

They should have been prepared for the total devastation within from the outward appearance of the building but still it wasn't the smoke that caused them to be breathless.

"Hetti!"

"Eric!"

"Nell!"

There was no reply to their call except for the roar of flames. Kensi after calling again for Hetti sprinted off towards Hetti's office.

"Check ops!" Deeks called to Sam and Callen as he dutifully sprinted off after her dodging the rubble of the explosion as he went.

Sam and Callen carefully began to make their way up the stair case that was mercifully intact except for the occasional portion of the banister that had been blown off. It wasn't until they were level with the floor that the true extent of the destruction hit them. It was clear that the source of the blast had been close to ops as one of its walls was almost completely gone and nothing in the room seemed to be intact.

It didn't take long for the two men to spot Nell kneeling by a pile of rubble dangerously close to the growing flames

"Nell!" Callen called to her and she immediately turned towards his voice showing them her soot covered face that was clean only where tears had forged traces though the grime.

"Oh thank goodness." Nell sighed realizing that finally she had a chance of freeing Eric before the flames reached them.

A little confused the two agents drew closer and for the first time realized what lay amongst the rubble.

"Shit." Callen muttered as he leaned in closer to examine the young blond tec. The rubble that lightly covered some of Eric's limbs would not be hard to do and judging by the small cuts and scratches on Nell's hands she had already mead some headway in that department. But the long beam that had fallen across his back was far more concerning to him.

Sam's eyes lingered on the beam as well, he could feel Nell's concerned eyes assessing him and he wanted more than anything to be able to tell her everything would be ok, after all as a father it was in his nature to nurture, but there was no way to tip toe around this. Everyone with even minor first aid knowledge knew not to move someone with a possible back injury, but the heat of the flames permeating the room was a constant reminder that they did not have luxuries such as time.

"We have to move the beam." Sam finally said out loud.

"Couldn't that hurt him?" Nell whispered her voice very small; Callen only threw her a comforting glance before he moved to one side of the beam finding a good position for his hands and watching to make sure Sam had done the same.

"Ready"

"One"

"Two"

"Three" was grunted at the two men lifted the extremely heavy beam and cleared Eric's feet before they let it fall to the ground with a boom that shook the floor a little.

Nell had already returned to Eric and begun moving what little of the rubble was left on his limbs as gently as she could. It only took a minute for Callen and Sam to join her in clearing the rest of the burnt plastic and wood splinters off the young man. Once he was clear of the ruble Sam and Callen exchanged yet another worried look as they saw blood caked around the small of his back. Though it did not seem to be bleeding profusely it was the location of the wound that scared them the most. They both knew that with a wound like that what the procedure should be; they would steady his head, and keep him calm and still, then they would call 911 and leave the rest to the professionals. But with the growing flames around them they did not have that luxury.

"We're going to have to move him." Callen said solemnly as her moved to position himself by Eric's head.

Silently Sam and Callen prepared to lift Eric, Callen grabbing under his arms and gently as possible as Sam found a good grip on his legs. Once again they are prepared to life when a small sound stopped them.

Eric's face twitched as he let out another small moan. Sam abandoned his legs as he moved closer to eccentric Tec's head and laid a hand on his shoulder, urging him to wake up.

"Eric" Callen called to him, "come on man wake up." Eric's hand twitched a little in response but nothing else happened.

"Eric", Nell whispered into his ear as she laid her hand upon his, "come on Eric wake up, I'm not leaving here without you.

"Nell." It was so silent she almost missed it, but all the same she was sure it had been said.

"That's it Eric, come on buddy." Callen urged him, eyeing the flames once more and deciding that if the young man took more than a minute to rouse they would have to carry him out either way.

Eric finally seemed to gain awareness as he turned his head to face Nell.

"What happened?" Eric asked confusion lacing his every syllable

Nell of course opened her mouth ready to answer his any question but Sam cut her off before she could make a sound.

"We don't have time for that right now," he said not unkindly, "Eric do you think you could stand with a little help?" Sam offer and placed a hand on his arm ready to assist the tec.

Eric opened his mouth ready to reply but snapped it shut as confusion crossed his face.

"Uh" the whispered sound was the only thing that crossed his lips but that was all it took to hear the terror. It only took a minute for Eric to begin to panic, his breathing became loud and heavy and quickened in pace.

"Whoa, whoa calm down, it will be ok." Callen told him knowing his promise could very well be empty.

"I can't…I…I can't move." Eric stuttered out between gasping breaths, "I can't move my legs."

Nell for her credit did not let her shock and total devastation show, but instead put her hand on the blond man's face.

"Eric it's going to be alright, ok." Seeing no change in his frightened state she placed her other hand on his face so she was not cupping his softy face in her hands, "I promise you will be ok." She repeated this time looking him directly in the face her voice conveying a calmness and strength that she did not feel.

Finally seeming to be able to steady his breathing Eric responded with a simple nod to Sam and Callen silently giving them his permission to carry him out.

Resuming their original positions with Callen at his shoulder and Sam at his legs the two men got to work lifting the young tec and carried him out of the room all the while with Nell by Eric's side whispering words to him too quiet for Sam and Callen to hear. The stairs were much more difficult to maneuver but with five years of partnership between them the ride was as comfortable as possible as it could be for Eric although he visibly tensed when Nell had to leave his side so that they could fit down the stairs.

Callen risking a look around him could find no sign of Kensi, Deeks, or Hetti and hoped that meant that they had gotten out of the building. He had no time to search for them until they had gotten the two tec's out. All he could think of was how much he hated this, Eric and Nell were supposed to be safe behind their computer screens, if anyone should be in danger it was him. Looking down at Eric's pale face he couldn't help the bile that seemed to rise a little in his throat, the young man may spend most of his day seated in front of a desk but he was also a surfer, he was young and active and had friends and now he might be paralyzed, the thought was almost too much for Callen to bear.

Sam couldn't help but feel and overwhelming relief when they made it down the stairs and the front door was within his sights.

The amount of relief Sam felt when he saw Hetti, Deeks, and Kensi standing anxiously waiting for them in the driveway was something he would never truly be able to explain. Knowing that he would be able to remain outside where the air was fresh and there was no longer any threat of being caught in fire calmed his nerves immensely, still he was very much aware of the fact that he was still carrying the weight of a once again unconscious Eric Beale in his arms.

"Is he alright?" Kensi gasped as she caught sight of the young tec being lowered to the ground by Sam and Callen. If Eric's disheveled state and the blood staining his shirt had not been a red flag to the young man's condition then the way Nell was hovering over him, her hands stroking his head soothingly was.

"He hurt his back." Nell told them simply, her eyes never leaving Eric's bespeckled face. She couldn't bring herself to elaborate; she couldn't help but feel like if she remained in denial about the situation that would somehow prevent anything bad from happening.

"We are going to have to vacate the premise," Hetti told them curtly, "this is a top secret location and we can't afford to call any emergency responders. It is best to let the building burn and take with it any trace of us."

The agents who rarely ever questioned Hetti looked slightly aghast at the proposal; normally they would follow her without the slightest doubt, but when one of them was down that changed things.

Hetti seeming to sense and understand their troubles clarified quickly, "We will of course get Mr. Beale the medical attention he needs, but we must attend to his transportation the hospital ourselves."

"Someone pull a car around then." Callen ordered without missing a beat. Deeks with a quick curt nod ran toward the street to the SUV he and Kensi had been driving earlier in the day.

Nell still kneeling by Eric's head looked up at him with him her doe eyes wide with worry at moving Eric in his fragile condition.

"We've already carried him down a flight of stairs, moving him again won't make much of a difference now." He told her as comfortingly as he could, although he wasn't sure if he even believed his own words.

Kensi now having moved closer knelt down next to Nell getting a better look at Eric. His face was pale and covered with soot as was the rest of his body. He had bruises and small abrasions covering most of his bare arms and legs but other than that she couldn't spot anything that looked broken, or as if it was bleeding profusely, she of course had not seen how he had been pinned under the massive beam though.

"What happened?" Kensi asked after her quick inspection of their quirky friend. At this all eyes, including Hetti's turned to Nell who shifted uncomfortably under the pressure.

"It was after the missile had been deployed." Nell nearly whispered, her voice raspy from the smoke, "Eric and I had a program searching for it, trying to lock onto its energy signal. By the time the program was able to find it, it was too late… I didn't even have time to warn Eric before it hit."

"You mean it was the missile." Callen asked as the color drained form his face. He didn't know why he hadn't made the connection before, after all minutes after they failed to prevent the deployment of a missile some sort of explosion nearly demolished ops. Still ops was supposed to be a secret location; he couldn't imagine how it could have been compromised.

They all looked up when Deeks pulled the SUV around smoothly rolling to a stop not too far from Eric before hopping our and opening the side doors to help ease the transportation as much as possible.

"Alright, we'll just lay him across the middle seats I guess." Sam said hesitantly as he eyed the leather seats with trepidation, he would have felt much more comfortable if he were looking at an ambulance. Looking to Callen who was already repositioning himself at Eric's shoulders Sam prepared himself to transfer the younger man once again. Lifting as gently as they could they pulled Eric up and brought him to the door of the SUV. The procedure became a little more difficult when Sam had to climb in while supporting Eric's feet but they still managed and within a couple of minutes had Eric laid as carefully as possible across the bench seat in the middle of the SUV. Nell never more than three feet away quickly climbed in and sat herself on the floor of the car beside Eric's head where she could keep an eye on him.

"I suggest you all climb in as well," Hetti told them breaking the silence, "Its better if we stay together for a while. Someone did this on purpose." As she finished a deadly look passed her face, the kind that reminded them all just why Hetti had so much power over the world of federal agents and bureaucrats.

Hetti after saying her piece strolled around to the passenger side of the SUV and climbed into the front passenger seat. The slam of her door seemed to prompt the other agents into action; Sam took the wheel while Callen, Deeks, and Kensi awkwardly squeezed into the row of seats behind the bench Eric was sprawled on.

"Who could have done this?" Deeks asked from the back seat as the SUV rolled out onto the street.

"Someone on the inside." Hetti answered from the front seat without even shifting her gaze from the road.

"The list will be short." A soft voice entered the conversation.

"Eric?" Nell asked she was surprised she had not noticed any sign of Eric's waking before his lips had begun moving.

"I have a list of the people who know the location of ops." Eric continued as if this were a normal situation, though is eyes remained closed.

"How are you feeling?" Kensi asked Eric leaning over the back of his seat so that she could see his face.

"I have all of our information backed up online, with programs I created, their essentially file vaults. Get me a computer and I can get to all of it, it won't take long to find this guy." Eric continued on, completely ignoring their questions he didn't want to think about his situation let alone talk about it.

"All in good time Mr. Beale but right now we are more concerned with you." Hetti told him.

To that Eric had no response; he was vehemently opposed to addressing the situation, as though if he ignored it enough it would just go away. Unfortunately no matter how much he ignored it the unsettling numbness that touched everything below his waste would not let him forget. Desperate for a distraction he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Nell who was gazing back at him, her large green eyes watery and sad.

"It's dangerous to sit on the floor like that." He told her, trying his best to replicate the banter they would volley back and forth on a regular day.

"After being in an explosion I figure my dangerous accident quotient is filled for the day." She replied with a small laugh that did not reach her eyes.

Eric replied with a smile of the same kind before closing his eyes again.

Sam was incredibly relived when the hospital came into view. Since Eric had closed his eyes he hadn't spoken again; it was the young man's silence that unnerved him the most. Eric was well known as a chatter box, always having something to say. "_I can't feel my legs_" Eric's words kept sounding in his head, and it didn't help his nerves that Hetti, Kensi, and Deeks did not yet know just how serious the situation was.

Pulling straight up to the emergency room doors Sam didn't waste any time pulling the emergency break and hopping out of the car to summon any hospital employees that he could. Running through the sliding doors straight to a large desk with several nurses dressed in varying colors of scrubs behind it Sam called out for help.

"Hey, I need some help over here." Sam called to anyone who would listen.

Several nurses responded to his call hurrying over to him, all looking prepared for anything.

"Alright sir, just tell us what the problem is." One very pretty nurse in light blue scrubs asked him.

"My friend hurt his back; he said he can't feel his legs." Sam told them indicating to the SUV parked just outside the doors.

The nurses all gave him incredulous looks when he indicated to the SUV.

"And you moved him?" She asked, he voice conveying just how stupid she thought he was. Though at the same time another nurse had moved back behind the desk and was paging doctors to the emergency room.

"I didn't have a choice, the building was on fire and emergency rescue wouldn't have gotten there soon enough." Sam told them noticing as he did that their expressions softened slightly.

"Alright," A doctor addressed him as he walked up with several nurses pulling along a stretcher behind him. "Where is the patient?"

"In the SUV." Sam told him as they began to walk towards it, he received the same look from the doctor as he did the nurses but the doctor did not push the subject.

When they got the SUV Hetti and Nell had already opened the doors giving access to Eric. Looking worried they moved aside and allowed the medical staff to do their job. Working from both sides of the car the doctor and nurses slid Eric out carefully asking him questions like how old he was and if he was allergic to anything. The whole time Eric responded simply and politely but it scared all of them at how lifeless his normally jubilant voice sounded.

The moment was a paradox, it seemed to take forever but all the same it seemed as if Eric had been whisked away in no time at all, leaving them all standing outside the emergency room doors without the slightest idea what to do with themselves.

So they did all they could do, they sat. They sat in uncomfortable plastic chairs in an even more uncomfortable silence. They sat and waited. Nell could have sworn she could hear the seconds ticking away even though all logic told her that that emergency room was much too loud for that to be possible. Still every second she spent away from Eric seemed to take forever. She could not help the guilt that had decided to make its home in her gut. All the "if only's" and "what if's" in the world kept running through her head; if only she had determined the missiles direction sooner, if only she had warned Eric in time, if only he had been standing two feet to the left, the list went on and on.

"What happened up there?" Nell's thoughts were interrupted by Kensi's voice. "I mean I know there was an explosion but…" Kensi trailed off, clearly her thoughts had been focused on Eric's condition and she could no longer keep her questions to herself.

Nell merely looked at her shoes and left Sam and Callen to answer the question, she had be reliving it over and over again in her head and felt no need to relive it again.

"Uh… Well when we got upstairs everything was so much worse, ops was completely destroyed, one of the walls was gone." Callen started, clearly unhappy to be reliving the situation as well. "We found Nell and Eric…and…uh…well Eric was pinned under one of the beams from the ceiling." Callen stopped the story there even for the trained agent the looks on Kensi, Deeks and even Hetti was a little too much to handle. Fortunately for him, Sam ever the reliable partner picked up the story from there.

"It was across his back, we wouldn't have moved it but with the fire we didn't really have a choice." Sam told them, "So we moved it and Eric woke up for a little bit…but he uh passed out again when we carried him down." Sam told them the revised version. He much preferred to leave out the conversation they had with Eric, he was still hoping beyond hope that somehow Eric had been wrong about his paralysis.

"Was he in much pain?" Kensi asked her face pale and her eyes red rimmed.

"He couldn't feel his legs." Nell whispered still staring at the floor.

"What?" Hetti asked. It was unnerving for the agents to hear such surprise and horror in Hetti's voice. Hetti after all was supposed to be all knowing. Hetti who was almost superhuman seemed simply human in that moment.

"When he woke up…That's what he told us." Nell repeated, he eyes betraying what her numb voice could not.

"Shit." Deeks muttered under his breath. That sentiment pretty much summed up the situation for all of them.

It had been hours before they heard anything. In that span of time Hetti had made countless phone calls, Deeks had switched seats seven times, Kensi had mindlessly flipped through fifteen magazines, Sam had pestered the nurses five times trying to find information, Callen had been pacing for two hours, and Nell had done absolutely nothing but stare at her shoes. It wasn't until a doctor called out Eric's name that Hetti got off the phone, and Nell finally looked up from her shoes.

"Eric Beale" It seemed as if the loud emergency room went silent at the call. Though all of the NCIS team looked up it was Hetti who responded.

"We're here for Mr. Beale"

Eying the group suspiciously the doctor asked "Are any of you Mr. Beale's family?"

"I am his emergency contact and next of kin." Hetti replied. It was no surprise to the team; Hetti was all of their next of Kin and emergency contact. With this job they did not have the luxury of having actually family members (if they were lucky enough to have family) rush to the hospital for them. It was Eric's situation that was a perfect example as to why they must follow this protocol as well, they had been attacked by an unknown person or group, and right now anyone associated with them could be in danger.

"I assume it was you who brought him in as well?" The doctor asked wearily.

"Yes, now can you please tell us how Eric is?" Nell asked impatiently, her small figure suddenly domineering.

With a tentative look towards the small woman he took a deep breath and told them, "Mr. Beale had some minor burns on his back and arms and several minor contusions. But what worried us most was his paralysis. Upon inspection we found several pieces of glass plastic and metal that had embedded itself in his back. We were able to remove all of the shrapnel but we still are unsure of the extent of the damage due to the swelling of the area around his spine."

Upon seeing the horrified expressions of the people around him the doctor hastened to tell them the good news.

"The good news is that as far as we can tell the paralysis is only temporary."

"What?" Kensi asked her face regaining some of its color; she hadn't even considered the possibility of temporary paralysis. The hours she had spent in the waiting room had been plagued by images of the lively Eric forever confined to a wheel chair.

"The swelling in his back is causing the paralysis; we will have to wait until the swelling goes down to know for sure but I would say it's very likely he will regain the feeling in his legs."

"But he will be ok?" Callen asked the hope in his voice enough to make anyone smile.

"More than likely yes…but this will by no means be an easy road. Eric will be in a wheel chair until the feeling returns to his leg, which could take from a couple weeks to months then he will have to go through physical therapy to regain the strength in his legs."

Though the process was daunting, it was far better than the alternative, none of them could deny that.

It was with worried looks and nods that the team responded before Deeks asked the question that they had all been wondering since the doctor first came out.

"So can we see him?"

"He's in room 134, but he's still unconscious so try not to stress him when he wakes up." The doctor responded with a wrinkled brow and tired eyes, before he turned and walked away.

Eric somehow looked incredibly small laid out on the pristine white bed, his pale complexion made it seem as though he could disappear amongst the sanitary bedding. Nell took his hand the second she was close enough and settled herself down in a chair beside him. Holding his hand in hers she could feel the plastic heart rate monitor against her skin, and even though his life was not in danger the beeping of the heart monitor was no less ominous.

The rest of the team settled themselves around the room, Hetti and Kensi sitting on a small couch in the corner while Sam and Callen claimed the remaining chairs leaving Deeks to lean against the wall.

The room besides the beeping of the heart rate monitor was incredibly quiet, the doctors warning not to stress Eric hanging in the air making them feel as though as single breath might push the younger man over the edge.

Surveying the room much like an NCIS agent is trained to do Kensi could not help but feel like whoever designed it had never had to spend any time in it. The beige walls lined with amateur photography of flowers and sunlight streaming through clouds did nothing to make her feel better about the fact that her young friend and colleague was laying unconscious in a hospital bed feet away from her. She still could not get over the overwhelming feeling of wrongness in her gut, Eric and Nell were never supposed to be in danger, they were supposed to be safe back at ops behind their computers. And they were most definitely not supposed to be getting paralyzed in explosions.

Hetti felt useless for the first time in a very long time. She had endless pull in the federal world, but here at the hospital she was just another person. Though Hetti had been in the business for a while and seen many agents injured or even die, there was something worse about this. Eric was supposed to be safe at ops, when she hired the quirky young man she never imagined that they would find themselves in this situation. She had busied herself in the waiting room, arranging for a temporary ops center as well as temporary housing for all of her agents. She had a nagging feeling that there was much more to this case than meets the eye. One thing she knew for sure was that there was no way she was going to let another of her agents get hurt.

Nell was the first one to notice Eric waking; his hand shifted under her slightly before he gently squeezed her fingers and slid his eyes open.

"Hey." He crocked out his voice quiet from underuse.

"Hey back." Nell said with a smile, her hand still lingering on his.

"How are you feeling Mr. Beale?" Hetti asked Eric as she got up from her seat and moved to his bedside.

"Uh…tired." Eric answered uncomfortably. Though Eric often spouted off random facts and what others would call nerd and geek knowledge he very rarely spoke of his personal life. It wasn't in Eric's nature to gush about himself or enjoy being the center of attention.

"Do you want us to call the doctor in?" Kensi asked him, though she had already stood up and started reaching for the call button by his bed.

"Not just yet." Eric answered quickly, "…So what do you guys know."

It was unclear from Eric's question whether he was asking about the case, or if he was asking about himself. The team however had only had Eric on their minds for the last couple hours and chose to answer the former interpretation of the question. Not surprisingly it was Nell who answered him gently.

"Well when the missile hit the building the explosion blew some pieces of metal and glass and plastic into your back." Nell began, "And then you were pinned by the beam…"

"I remember that part." Eric told them as he suddenly seemed very interested in picking at a loose piece of thread in his blanket. "I remember being pinned, and then it being really hot, then I passed out."

"When no one picked up the phone when we called we figured something must be wrong." Callen jumped in sparing Eric further discomfort, "When we got to ops we found you and Nell upstairs. We would have waited to move you but the fire was getting out of control so we moved the beam and carried you out. After that Sam drove us here." Callen finished, clearing not wanting to continue.

It seemed as if no one else wanted to bring up the elephant in the room either, once again thinking back to the doctor's advice not to stress Eric. Even though they knew part of the news was good, none of them seemed to be willing to bring up the fact that Eric might be wheelchair bout for months, not to mention the small but threatening possibility of permanent paralysis.

"I'm paralysed aren't I?" Eric finally asked breaking the painful silence. The look on his face could have broken even the most seasoned agent's heart.

"Only temporarily Mr. Beale." Hetti answered him laying her hand one Eric's hand which was not being monopolized by Nell.

"What…what do you mean?" Eric asked clearly confused. The young man didn't dare to get his hopes up, especially when he couldn't feel anything below his waist.

"Maybe it's better if the doctor explains that part to you." Kensi told Eric as she once again began to advance on the call button. This time he didn't stop her. He only watched with a look of mixed hope and fear on his face. Was it possible that this nightmare might not last? Eric didn't want to get his hopes up but the sunny feeling growing inside him didn't agree.

Once the call button was pushed it didn't take long for the doctor to appear. He strolled in his pace between a walk and a jog, and gave a bright smile to Eric that none of the NCIS agents had received when they had talked to the doctor earlier.

"Ah, Mr. Beale good to see you awake," He told Eric as he flipped through his chart, "I'm Dr. Bennet."

Before Eric could respond Dr. Bennet turned to the others.

"Would you mind giving us a moment?" He asked though it wasn't so much of a comment as it was a command.

"Of course not." Hetti told him

It seemed as though the other members of the team did not quite agree with Hetti, but one stern look sent their way was enough to change their minds. Nell was the last to leave and the most reluctant it wasn't until Eric gave her his best smile and a small wink that she finally released his hand and left the room.

"So what are we going to do now?" Sam asked Hetti

"I have set up a temporary safe house and center for operations for all of us to stay in until we get this sorted out. This was an attack on all of us and we are all still in danger."

"But what about Eric?" Nell asked, "We can't just leave him here."

"And we most certainly will not." Hetti told her, "He will come with us when he is ready, and until then we will stay here with him. We are safest when we are all together."

No one could disagree to that. But still it was unsettling, there were some things that they could not defend themselves against no matter how well trained they were, things like missiles. Now it seemed as if the only question left was how fast they could get Eric out of there.

It was three days before the hospital would release Eric. Three days of sleeping in shifts to guard the door. Three days of cafeteria food. Three days of awkward small talk. Three days of trying to act like everything was normal. Three days of Nell's eyes are not leaving Eric. Three days of Eric trying to pretend like he was ok. Three days of watching Eric not be ok. Three days until they finally signed the discharge forms.

They were all relived when they could leave. They all thought it was the hospital that reminded them of the missile hit, and what had resulted from it. Though it seemed that they were mistaken, reminders were everywhere. The fact that Sam was driving a van with a wheelchair lift was a reminder. The fact that Eric was being rolled to said van in a wheelchair was a reminder.

As per his M.O Eric was determined not to show how afraid he was. Though he knew that his paralysis was due to swelling and would go away, but he also knew that there was a small chance he could end in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He tried to smile as best he could, he tried to act as though he wasn't bothered, but the knowing feeling in his gut wasn't helping.

As much as Eric wanted to be strong it was getting harder and harder for him to pretend that everything was normal. The moment the lift descended from the special order van he found himself holding his breath and closing his eyes trying to speed through the moment. No one said anything, and no one stared but their pointedly averted gazes were almost as bad. His only relief came when the lift finally stopped and the van began to roll away.

It was with utter joy that the NCIS team watched the hospital slowly shrink away into the city until they could no longer see it. It wasn't only the hospital that shrank away after a while; it was the rest of the city too. The car was mostly silent as they drove, Deeks made the occasional are we there yet joke and Hetti would occasionally speak up to tell Sam when to turn as she was the only one that knew their destination.

"So how ya feeling?" Nell asked Eric quietly. They were both together in the back seat, Eric spent most of the ride looking out the window and Nell had spent most of the ride pretending she wasn't looking at Eric.

"Not bad." He replied. He offered her a smile and a small bump to her shoulder with his as reassurance that his words were true. Anyone who didn't spend endless hours in the same room as him for nearly 6 days a week would have believed his words and the small smile that followed them but Nell was not fooled. Happy Eric would have given her more than a two word answer. The Eric who was sitting next to her was not fine, and he was not happy, he was afraid. Once in a while when he thought no one was looking, or when he got too engrossed in his own thoughts to remember to manage his expressions she saw a face she had seen only once before. It was the face she saw when he had been locked in that rocket test chamber, the face that was peering through the small pane of glass loosing hope that anyone would get there in time to save him. It was the only time that she had seen a hopeless Eric, and it frightened her beyond belief to see him with that look on his face again.

"So umm…I know I am about to sound like Deeks," Kensi spoke up from the center row of seats in the van, "but are we going to get to the safe house anytime soon?"

"As a matter of fact Miss. Blye we are almost there." Hetti answered her from the passenger seat.

"See now how come when I ask that all I get is a shut up Deeks" Deeks whined saying the last three words in an annoying but admittedly humorous imitation of Kensi's voice.

"Oh come on I do not sound like that" Kensi protested over the chuckles of the other passengers of the van.

"Kinda do Kens." Eric chuckled from the back. The others noted, though no one said a thing, that his laugh though appearing to be genuine, which by all accounts was good, was still lacking of the laugh that they had all become accustomed to hearing from him.

"Just pull into this dive way here Mr. Hanna." Hetti instructed Sam. They been driving for hours now down a dirt road that cut through a densely wooded area, had Hetti not pointed to it one could miss the small drive way that turned off the road and into the trees.

What they saw when they got to the drive way was not at all what they were expecting, where they were expecting to find a decapitated old home or wood cabin they found a large modern bungalow. Most of the walls were comprised of large windows and what wasn't made of smooth grey cement and on top of the roof were several large solar panels.

"Whoa Hetti, you went all out." Deeks whistled in appreciation prior to that statement.

Without a reply Hetti opened her door and hopped out of the car, the others promptly following her lead except for Eric and Sam who was still behind the wheel operating the lift. Once down Eric wheeled around to where the others stood gathering their bags from the trunk.

"Be careful with that," Eric called out as Deeks began to unload one of his bags, "I've got a lot of equipment in there."

"Don't worry I got it." Deeks reassured him as he placed the bag carefully on the ground.

Eric wheeled forward and pulled the bag onto his lap making sure to be careful of his precious computer. Right now he felt like that computer was the only thing he had control of. Even though he wasn't able to walk or even stand right now he could still hack, and program, and he knew his way around a computer better than anyone else, that was the one thing he could hold onto right then.

Everyone gathered their things, few of them having packed more than one bag as they were told to travel light. Hetti with the keys in hand led the way towards the front door. The door was an ornately carved wooden door, wider and taller than the average door. Hetti unlocked it and swing it open.

"Welcome home." She told them as she entered.


	3. Dreams and leads

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA, nor do I own any of its plot lines or characters.

Note: Sorry for the long delay. I am sure you all know the cold and bitter embrace of writers block.

Every morning, often barley after the crack of dawn, he had woken from the same nightmare. In his nightmare he was trapped as flames crept closer and closer, in his nightmare no one came to save him. In these dreams which plagued him every night he was trapped, but not by the beam which had trapped him in real life, no he was trapped by his body, and unlike most people who were free of their nightmare when they would open their eyes he had been trapped in his night mare for the past two weeks.

This morning was no different than any other. Eric woke up cold sweat rolling from his forehead down past his ear and onto his pillow, and tried to forget his dream. He laid where he was for a moment, he didn't even try to move. Instead he laid very still and tried to believe that when he sat up that his legs would automatically swing over the side of his bed. He tried to believe that his bare feet would settle on the floor and he would flinch away from the cold wood beneath him. He imagined the way he used to wake up and roll out of bed without a second though.

With a quick intake of breath Eric sat up, but that was as far as he got. His torso stood straight up but he legs remained rested against the bed, they didn't even twitch. Letting himself fall heavily back into his bed Eric let out a silent sob. He let the anguish that he felt everyday spill out of him. It was a silent expression of agony. Just as the sweat had rolled silently down his skin his tears now did. He would vehemently deny it, but this had been his routine for the past two weeks. But there was a second half to his morning routine, the part where he would sit up again and wipe his eyes removing all signs of weakness. He would slip on a mask of indifference that he would wear until the next morning when he go up and was still trapped inside his own body.

No one knew how Hetti did the things she did. No one knew how Hetti in three days had set up a safe house, completely off the grid, that was wheelchair accessible, had the exact amount of rooms as there were people, and a small command center with all the tec they could need. No one knew, but no one was surprised either. Eric for one was not surprised one bit when he rolled into his designated room and found it outfitted for someone in a wheelchair. Over a queen size bed outfitted in sky blue sheets and crisp white pillows was a bar that allowed him to pull himself in and out of his bed on his own. After a little exploration of his room on the first day they arrived at the safe house, Eric found similar bars over the toilet and bathtub of the large bathroom attached to his room. Eric, though he wished with all of his heart that he didn't need the aid of those bars, he would forever be appreciative of the fact that he was able to get in and out of his bed, bath and on and off of his toilet on his own.

So even though the others probably wouldn't be up for hours, judging by the grey morning light that crept though the blinds that covered the large bay window of his room, he hauled himself off of his be and into the wheelchair that sat next to it and began his day.

He had anticipated certain aspects of his life being harder but it was the little things that never ceased to surprise him. It was things like getting changed, and toweling himself dry after a shower that surprised him with their difficulty. Still he refused help; he refused to show any weakness. The only difference he wanted people to see in him was the fact that he had to roll into a room instead of walk.

Before the attack on ops it would have taken Eric less than 20 minutes to get ready, since the accident it to him over an hour. That extra time however still did not keep him from being the first person up.

Quietly rolling down the hall of the small bungalow, that was beginning to feel a little too familiar; Eric made his way into the kitchen. The only sound that could be heard was the quiet glide of his chair over the stone tiles of the kitchen floor. Heading to the large stainless steel fridge Eric pulled out a bottle of water and a small cup of cherry yoghurt. This wouldn't normally he his first choice in breakfast but no one was willing to battle with Kensi when it came to the grocery list. With his light breakfast in hand Eric grabbed a spoon from one of the lower drawers on the island centred in the kitchen and made his way to the large wooden table in the dining room just adjacent to the kitchen.

Someone seeing the dining room for the first time would note the beautiful stained glass window that covered the majority of one of the rooms walls and the modern stone tiles that continued from the kitchen into this room, they might also notice the fact that the table had setting s for seven people but only chairs for six. Eric already used to his spot at the table came to a stop at it and put down his small breakfast. He peeled back the foil top to the plastic cup of yoghurt with every intention of digging into its contents, but when he looked at the smooth pink substance inside he no longer felt like eating.

Eric's lack of appetite this morning wasn't new to him. In the past couple weeks he had found it difficult to eat following his nightmares. He kept this to himself of course. He was almost always up before anyone else to it wasn't at all hard to keep this to himself. It was as simple as washing the yoghurt down the sink and throwing the plastic cup into the garbage as if it had been emptied because of hunger instead of lack thereof.

After disposing of what should have been his breakfast Eric made his way to the small ops Hetti had gotten set up for them. These ops was a sad attempt at replicating the one that had been leveled in the explosion, but still it was far more technologically advanced than what most law enforcement agencies dealt with. With a crack of his knuckled Eric logged onto the computer and continued with the work he had begun two weeks ago. With the keyboard beneath his fingers Eric felt the only semblance of peace he had been able to find since being confined to his wheel chair.

So far he hadn't achieved much in his search for the culprit of the attack. There was a list of 28 people who knew their previous location, and he had only been able to rule out 13 of them. Still that left them with 15 people who could have orchestrated the attack or inadvertently disclosed the location to a third party. Either way it was not going to be easy. With Hetti keeping the team on lock down the only ones who were able to contribute to the search were herself, Nell, and Eric. The others were left to busy themselves with either trying to help, which they usually abandoned after they realised they were mostly just slowing the techies down, or working out in the moderately equipped workout room that was also enclosed within the walls of the bungalow.

Nell was surprised when she made her way into the kitchen and found herself to be the last one up. She rarely let herself sleep in, and she instantaneously felt guilty that she had wasted time sleeping when she could be working to find the person who got them all into this mess.

Deeks, Kensi, Callen, and Sam were all at the large wooden kitchen table talking animatedly about one of their past missions. Though Hetti and Eric were not among them that didn't leave Nell with any illusions that they had slept in, in the past two weeks neither Hetti nor Eric had slept past 7am.

"Morning sleeping beauty" Deeks called to her when he noticed that she had joined them in the kitchen and begun to assemble her breakfast.

Nell merely answered with a small wave; Deeks had unknowingly feed the guilty feeling growing in her stomach. She had promised herself when she had seen Eric in that hospital bed that she would work tirelessly until she found the person who did this.

After gathering together a small bowl of special k cereal and a tall glass of orange juice, Nell sat down at the table with the others. The four agents had shifted from their previous cases to their current predicament.

"I would feel a lot better if I could be out there bashing some heads" Sam said heatedly as he dug into a gigantic breakfast.

"Here here" Callen grumbled with a mouth full of scrambled eggs.

"This person is clearly very resourceful; it's not safe for any of us right now." Nell spoke up, "There is no way anyone can protect themselves if he was to decide to send another missile."

"I just feel so useless." Kensi said dejectedly. Her feelings were shared by the other three agents if their facial expressions were anything to go by.

"Speaking of which," Nell said as she stood up and put her empty bowl and cup in the sink, "I should really get to work."

Not waiting for the others to say anything Nell strode out of the room and made her way down that hall, past the bedrooms, to the small ops that's Hetti had set up for them. As she had predicted Nell found Eric and Hetti hard at work already. Hetti was seated behind a moderately sized wooden desk arguing animatedly with someone over an untraceable phone. Eric as per usual was seated in front of a large computer monitor, typing at unbelievable speeds. If Nell didn't look too closely, she could almost imagine that Eric was as he had always been. But of course she knew the second he moved away from his desk the illusion would be shattered.

Eric paused in his work for only a few seconds to look up and smile at her as she sat herself down at the computer beside his. Though she returned his smile deep down Nell wished that he hadn't smiled at her at all. As far as she was concerned no smile at all was better than this ghost of a smile that never quite reached his eyes.

She was afraid for Eric, though he maintained a mask of indifference all hours of the day she knew what pain he must be in. She had tried, unsuccessfully, to try and get him to open up to her. She couldn't seem to draw more than a simple "I'm fine" from him before he would bury himself in his work, or claim that he was tired and retreat to his room.

So engrossed in her own thoughts was Nell that she almost missed it. The one and only piece of trace of the missile attack that she had come across in the past two weeks. Having given up on the traditional methods of searching for the perpetration of this heinous crime, since Eric had already begun using those methods and was far more effective at it than she, Nell had begun looking for any repots of an explosion in Los Angeles. As she suspected there was no hint of even a fire in any news feed that she could find, no what she found was far less interesting, at least to anyone other than her. Using a program Eric had developed she inputted information about the explosion, she started very specific at first inputting the location and the date of the explosion. She searched for any information on a fire, or anything akin to it. When her search failed to produce any results she broadened her search parameters and made the queries more general. It was on her last ditch attempt that she simply searched for Los Angeles explosion. Eric's program produced a list of links that seemed to go on forever, but the most recent of these as a youtube video posted the day of the fire. Nell almost overlooked it, but given her lack of results she, on a whim, clicked on the link. She would be forever grateful that she did.

Not wanting to disturb Eric and Hetti, Nell slipped on a pair of headphones and played the video. It started out generic enough, some stupid teenage boys filming another stupid teenage boy doing something stupid. Had this video not been shot on the exact street that the hidden center of operations for the NCIS Los Angeles department she may have stopped watching. As one of the boys in the video was just about to attempt a flip off a dumpster, "idiots" Nell thought to herself, there was an explosion in the background merely a block away. Immediately Nell had to lover the volume of the video as the boys began screaming and laughing. However, as close to home this video hit it lacked vital information until Nell saw a black car which had been sitting about 200 yards from ops sped away, nearly sideswiping one of the idiot boys as it did so. Luck seemed to be on their side for the first time in two weeks as the video, presumably shot from a cell phone, caught a very clear image of the driver.


	4. Broken Walls

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS:LA nor do I own any of its plot lines or characters.

Note- Thank you all for your reviews, they really motivate me to keep going.

It was hard for them all. Actually seeing the explosion rock the ops center. For Eric it brought back those memories of the heat of approaching flames that normally only visited him in his dreams. For Nell it reminded her of being utterly helpless to aid her friend while a growing inferno threatened to engulf them both. Hetti, though she would never admit or even allude to it, felt the keen sting of failure when she saw the missile hit. Hetti would never forgive herself if Eric was stuck in that chair forever. For Deeks, Kensi, Sam, and Callen it brought back the panic they felt as they approached the sped toward the ops center and hoped that the giant plumes of black smoke had nothing to do with them.

No matter how hard it was for them to watch the video that Nell had found, it was also the first clue they had found in two weeks. Now they finally had something to work with.

"Does anyone know this guy?" Callen asked after Nell froze the video on the face of the driver.

After a few detected shakes the heads of the six others in the room Eric began typing.

"I will search the data bases and see if we can find any matches." Eric told them, "Hopefully this guy had a record."

"This guy seems to know what he's doing." Kensi spoke up as they waited to see if Eric's search yielded any results, "He avoided all security and traffic cameras; it was pure luck that we caught him on tape."

It was clear from her voice that she doubted they would find the driver. They all knew what she was getting at; this guy knew what he was doing, he probably knew how to stay hidden.

"Well he screwed up this time, maybe he has before too." Deeks piped up from his corner of the room.

"Mr. Deeks appears to have a valid point." Hetti said just as the computer beeped and Eric pulled a picture of the driver onto the large projection screen on the wall.

"Lucas McMillan, 32. Previous arrest for grand theft auto at the age of 16, he was sent to juvie for two and a half years and released at 18. After that his record is technically clean although the police suspect he had ties to the Irish mob." Eric told them as he read from his computer.

Nell allowed herself a small smile at the normality of the situation; it was almost as if they were back at a normal day of work.

"The Irish mob, what do they have to do with us?" Sam asked, immediately looking to Hetti for answers.

"I don't think this is about what connections we have to the Irish mob Mr. Hannah, but rather who we know that has connections to the Irish mob." Hetti replied with a meaning full look to Eric. Eric correctly interpreting said look pulled up the list of people who knew the whereabouts of their center of operations. He began from the beginning with a whole new vigour as he now knew what he was looking for.

Though they had worked tirelessly since Nell found the video they still had not found who leaked their location. Eric's eyes had long since started to go buggy and his wrists were feeling the strain of maintaining typing position for so long. Hetti had given up her work about an hour ago when it became much too late to be calling people. Nell however was still seated beside Eric working harder than he had ever seen her work before.

Normally Eric would fine staying up until the wee hours of the morning working. He had done it countless times before when working on a case. This time it was different though. This time every stroke of a key or click of the mouse just reminded him of his accident. There was no way to bury himself in is work and forget all of his troubles, because for the first time his work was the cause of his troubles.

Seeing Nell produce an enormous yawn Eric took that as his cue to suggest going to bed.

"I think we've accomplished just about all that we are going to get done today." Eric told Nell.

Nell sent him a relived smile before she stood up and stretched her back. Eric couldn't help but be a little jealous at the simple act.

"I think your right." she replied. She stood for a moment looking at him not saying a word. For a little while he held her gaze and for the first time she felt like she could see some of the emotion that he had been bottling up welling over in his eyes, but then he looked down at his feet. When he looked back up his eyes were the same blank emotionless eyes she had been looking at the past two weeks.

"Eric…" She began before he cut her off.

"Goodnight Nell." He told him quickly before she could say anything else. Pumping his arms her turned the wheels of his chair and moved past her.

"Goodnight." She replied softly, but he had already left the room.

Eric was already berating himself for his moment of weakness. For a minute he forgot to put up his walls and Nell had seen it hall, he knew she had. He had seen the pity in her big brown eyes.

Nell was disappointed when Eric left. Though Nell felt she had no right to compare the two, when Eric lost use of her legs she lost her best friend. Part of her pain was the fact that she felt that she had no right to feel pain at all; after all it was Eric who had lost so much not her. But still telling yourself you are fine and actually being fine are two very different things.

Somehow Nell felt as if the only way she would feel better is if she could talk to Eric. After all for the past few years that's what she would do when she was upset. She would walk into ops and right off the bat Eric would know something was wrong. She would deny she was upset at all, and he would act like he believed her. He would make her laugh all day until she was ready to talk. She didn't know how he did it but somehow no matter how upset she was when she walked into work, when she left she felt better. But now she couldn't talk to Eric. She wasn't even sure where Eric was anymore, because he was gone from the man who had just been sitting before her.

Nell headed back to her room a little while after Eric had left the ops center. As she walked down the hall she could hear various noises coming from the bedrooms. Callen's room as always had the gentle hum of a television, he couldn't sleep without the noise. Sam's room hummed with his rhythmic snoring. Past Kensi's room Nell could hear gentle nature sounds. When she passed Deeks' doors she could hear the ruffling if his sheets as he moved around in his bed, he was not a still sleeper. As Nell past Eric's room for a moment she didn't hear anything. She almost continued past into her room, which was next to Eric's, but just as she was about to open her door she heard the smallest of sounds.

Nell was not normally a nosy person but she couldn't help herself this time. Eric had been so distant lately, so unreachable that she was willing to cross the line to find out how he was. Taking a deep breath Nell ignored her screaming conscience and leaned into Eric's door pressing her ear against the wood. For a moment she heard nothing. But then she heard it, the last thing she had expected to hear. Eric was crying.


	5. Late night talks

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS:LA or its plot lines and character.

Note: Sorry for the short chapter I decided to sacrifice length for a quicker update.

Nell didn't know why she did it. Normally she would have knocked on the door, or at least announced herself. But this time she did something totally out of character. Nell slowly and silently opened the door. She stood there for a moment in awe of her own actions, but she couldn't help herself.

Inside she saw Eric lying on his bed; he would have seen Nell had he not been facing in the opposite direction towards the large window that took up the majority of or one of his bedroom walls. The view outside of the window was stunning; the moonlight made the trees glow with beautiful silver gleam and the stars littered the sky. If it hadn't been for the occasional shake of his shoulders or sniffle Nell would have thought he was simply looking at the view.

"Eric?" Nell called out, though she immediately wished she hadn't. She was fairly certain that he wouldn't take kindly to being walked in on.

Eric froze immediately. Now that he looked closely he could see Nell' reflection in the glass of his window.

He was about to roll over, something that took a considerable amount of effort now, and tear into her for spying. He could feel two weeks' worth of pain and frustration welling up inside if him.

"What…" Eric started as he rolled over. He intended to finish the sentence with "the hell do you think you are doing" but when he saw Nell's face he stopped. When he looked at her he didn't see the pity he expected, in fact he saw a look on her face he had never seen before. When he looked at her he saw fear.

Eric was confused, was Nell afraid of him?

Then he realized what he had been about to do. He had been about to yell at his best friend. Suddenly he felt the anger drain out of him, but what replaced it was far worse, shame. Eric opened his mouth and promptly closed it again; he had no idea what to say.

If Eric had of imagined this moment before it happened he would have come up with a thousand things to say. Every morning her would go over what he would say the next time someone asked if he was ok. He would say "Of course I'm not ok; I didn't sign on for this. The one place that was supposed to be safe ended up almost killing me. I have nightmares every night, every night I have to relive being pinned under a beam while all I can do is watch fire creep closer and closer. Every morning when I wake up, I think for a moment that it was all a terrible nightmare and then I realise that it is all real. Every day I have to watch everyone else walk around, something that I never even thought about before is now a constant reminder of the fact that I am stuck in this chair." Except now that he had the change he couldn't think of anything to say.

So he didn't, he didn't say anything at all.

Nell expected a lot of things when Eric caught her spying, but she didn't expect silence.

Eric started to say something then stopped. And then he just sat there like she wasn't there.

Nell just stood there looking at him wondering if she should say anything. Or maybe she should just leave and act like nothing even happened. While weighing her options Eric apparently was doing the same, because before she could make her decision he simply patted the space beside him on the bed.

Nell was worried for a moment that she had misinterpreted Eric's action; after all he shouldn't be mad at her for spying on him? But she decided to throw caution to the wind. What else could he have meant anyway?

So she climbed into the bed beside him and they sat.

They sat for an hour before either one of them said anything.

"I'm so sorry Eric."

"For what?" Eric asked incredulously. After all what could Nell possibly have to apologise for?

"I didn't warn you in time, I only I had worked a little faster, or if I had been able to get you out sooner…" Nell gushed to him. For the first time ever Eric saw Nell on the verge of tears.

"Nell." Eric looked her right in the eyes, "We both set up that program, we did the best we could, and I hardly expect you to be able to fix back injuries."

Nell smiled at him but the sadness remained in her eyes.

"You're not ok are you?" Nell asked him.

"Not really, no." Eric finally admitted. "I'm kind of…well… I'm terrified."

"Eric no one expects you to just go on like nothing happened."

"Everyone says that at first. I've seen it before. Everyone wants you to be vulnerable; everyone wants you to spill your guts. Then they get tired of it, all of the sudden there is no more pity, just annoyance. People don't want to hang out with a downer. Then slowly you lose your friends." Eric told Nell then sunk a little further into his bed as if the confession exhausted him.

"What do you mean?" Nell asked him, shifting to lie on her side and look at him more directly.

Eric actually laughed at that.

"I thought I was pretty straight forward."

"I mean you said that you've seen it happen before." Nell pushed a little more.

"I had a friend back in high school, her parents died in a car crash. Everyone was very understanding at first, until her pain got old. People called her a downer and slowly stopped hanging out with her." Eric told her, "She used to call me at night, she lost her parents, and then she lost most of her friends."

"Eric, your friends are not going to leave you, and you are going to walk again." Nell told him seriously.

That night the two talked for hours. They eventually fell asleep just before the sun rose.

Two things would happen that night, one Eric was aware of, the other he would not be.

First Eric would have his first nightmare free sleep since he has left the hospital.

Second he would move his toes in his sleep.


End file.
